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Seventeen years ago, I was at my heaviest. This came after twenty-plus years of weight cycling through diets and strenuous exercise. Each time, my weight climbed back up with a little extra.
At thirty-nine, I decided I was done.
Done with counting calories.
Done with obsessing over macros.
Done with carb restriction, fasting, supplements, and whatever else diet culture was pushing that season.
I wasn’t giving up on a healthy weight but letting go of methods that left me worse and worse off.
I wrote a quiet manifesto that holds to this day:
I want to eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’ve had enough, and have that lead to a stable, healthy weight.
Fifteen years later, I can say: That’s exactly what I’ve done. I'm one of 4% of people who lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off for a decade or more.
I Don’t “Maintain” — I Live
People often ask how I’ve maintained my weight loss. I don’t love the word “maintain” because it implies a switch — like losing weight is one set of behaviors and maintaining it is another.
That’s only true if you’re dieting.
If you lose weight by fighting your body, suppressing your hunger, or tracking everything you eat, then yes — maintaining your weight will feel like a lifelong uphill battle. But if you develop new patterns, learn to see food differently, and adjust your environment to support you — there's nothing to "maintain." You’re just living.
That’s what I do. I live in a way that keeps my weight steady, my relationship with food peaceful, and my energy for life intact.
Building that is a process.
It Was Never About Willpower
I am not exceptionally disciplined. I don’t love intense workouts.
I don’t wake up eager to journal about protein distribution.
And I’ve never once felt excited to log a meal into an app.
I am good at seeing my life holistically. Instead of forcing moderation, I've designed a life that supports that. Instead of forcing motivation to move I've made it stupidly easy to get exercise every day.
Getting in the Weeds Doesn't Help
When people want to lose weight, they often start by diving deep into the weeds — obsessing over grams of protein, micronutrient timing, metabolic flexibility, and whatever the latest podcast expert says about mitochondrial health.
It gives the illusion of control. If you just know enough, maybe you can fix it.
But in my experience, getting lost in technical nutrition is one of the fastest ways to disconnect from your actual eating life.
I’ve seen it over and over — and lived it myself. You end up with a head full of rules and a body full of confusion. You may know the ideal omega-6 to omega-3 ratio, but you’re still stuck in the same cycle of overeating, overcorrecting, and never feeling at peace with food.
Even worse, it makes food feel clinical — like a chemistry project instead of something meant to nourish and delight.
I once went on a date with a man who brought out spreadsheets of his eating data. Charts, logs, trends. He wasn’t metabolically healthier for it — just more neurotic. That’s what this kind of overthinking does. It promises results, but what it delivers is disconnection.
So here’s a better question:
Is all this complexity actually necessary to live at a healthy weight?
In my experience, no. Not even a little.
You Do Need To Understand How Food Has Changed.
Real food is remarkably simple, and that's what you need to navigate a world filled with the kind of processing that makes weight control nearly impossible.
Once you understand how to identify food that doesn't require diet culture interventions, you'll eat naturally and feel peaceful about being hungry.
Your Surroundings Matter More Than Your Self-Control
Your eating patterns are not a direct reflection of your choices. They’re a reflection of your setup. Your environment, your habits, your routines, your relationships — these shape how and what you eat more than any rulebook ever could.
So when someone talks to me about wanting to lose weight, I ask:
- Do you have enough help at home?
- Are you in relationships that revolve around eating and drinking?
- How much processed, hyper-palatable food is regularly entering your space?
- Can you go for a walk after dinner without rearranging your life?
- How do you soothe yourself after a hard day?
If you're constantly surrounded by highly tempting foods — or your time, energy, and emotions are pulled in too many directions — then your eating will reflect that. Not because you’re weak, but because you’re human.
It's Not About Your Body Being Broken
Diet culture teaches us to blame ourselves. If you gain weight easily or have a big appetite, the assumption is that there’s something wrong with you.
But there isn’t.
Some bodies put on weight more easily, which means they need a more intentional—not restrictive—setup. I have one of those bodies, and I know what it takes.
And it’s not guilt. It’s not shame. And it’s definitely not spreadsheets.
It’s creating a life that supports how you want to feel.
That might mean asking your partner not to bring home the croissants. Not because you “shouldn’t” eat them, but because they call to you all day long and that’s just exhausting.
That’s not deprivation. That’s self-respect.
Intention Is Not Deprivation
The internet is full of arguments — and recently, one erupted over bananas. Yes, bananas. Some influencers were vilifying them. Others were defending them. But all of it missed the point.
The real issue isn’t whether a food is “good” or “bad.” The issue is:
What does it do to your body and does it satiatie you or set you up for compulsive eating?
If the food has a negative impact, you adjust your environment to limit access—not because you’re “bad” but because you want a calm and aligned life.
The Bottom Line
The most important lesson I’ve learned in these fifteen years is that food, weight, and hunger are not moral issues. They’re practical ones.
You are not failing at diets. You are reacting — often wisely — to a setup that doesn’t work for your body.
The good news is that you can change that.
You can create an environment that supports effortless moderation.
You can repair your relationship with food.
You can eat joyfully, embrace your hunger, and still live at a healthy weight.
Not by outsourcing your judgment.
Not by following food trends.
But by trusting your body, managing your setup, and choosing intention over control.
That’s not a diet. That’s a good life.
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Yours in joyful eating and living,
Rebecca ✌️
